a Very Vocal Mirror Postpones Bikini Season

All it took was one day of sunny weather in the sixties, and spring fever was officially on. The kids took one step outside and ran right back upstairs to change into shorts, flip flops, and t-shirts. Seconds later, they stood proudly shivering in the timid March sunshine. Soon I joined them, equally optimistic in capris, violet flats, and a sleeveless cotton blouse.

When we woke up to rain on Saturday morning, our spring fever had to be rerouted. Instead of a muddy family soccer game in the backyard, we piled into the minivan to head to... the mall. If the rain was keeping us from reconnecting with the great outdoors, the least we could do was equip ourselves for the next warm and sunny day.

Once inside the suburban mecca, Bella and I split from the rest of the family to visit a couple of girlie stores. The colorful bikinis caught my eye as soon as we walked into Aerie. Instead of heading quickly to find a few replacement bras as I had planned, I suddenly found myself sucking in my gut as I grabbed a blue and white striped top with a hot pink strap and a more sedate, but still quite sexy, black bikini. I was giddy with excitement, imagining myself sunning my lean, tanned body by a calm pool as the kids played quietly next to me. This bikini was the first step towards the amazing summer ahead.

In the fitting room, I peeled my clothes off, revealing my blindingly, pasty, white body to my 8-year old daughter.
"Mommy, you're embarrassing me standing in your underwear. Can we go to Justice already?"
"Just a minute sweetie, I'll just try on this bathing suit and then we'll be on our way. I just want to make sure it fits before I buy it."
Quickly, I pull on the fun, blue and white stripe bathing suit over my underwear, back carefully turned to the mirror until all necessary tuck-ins and adjustments have been made. One premature look in the mirror to reveal a cottage cheese thigh or flabby upper arm can cause months of emotional
scarring. But I hadn't banked on the presence of another, very vocal mirror in the fitting room with me.
"Mom, what are those white stripes?"
"The bathing suit's white stripes?"
"No, not the bathing suit stripes. The other stripes. Those on your body, right above the bathing suit."
"Oh. Those are called stretch marks sweetie. You see, when there's a baby inside of a mommy, their skin gets very stretched out, and ..."
"Mom, what's that hanging over your bathing suit bottom?"
"Well, those are my hips."
"But if those are your hips, why do they stick out like that? And why are they so soft? See, if I push them, my finger sinks in and then it pops back out. My hips are not like that at all! Yours just don't look right."

I never turned around to even look in the mirror. My vocal mirror had said enough. The bathing suit went right back in a pile in the corner of the fitting room and I grabbed the bras I had come to get.

Spring fever is still here... but bikini season has been postponed... indefinitely.