When I reached over and turned off the TV, I still didn't know exactly how I was going to break the news to them. I just knew that it was time, that I could not hold our secret in a second longer. I had wanted to tell them separately but I worried that if I waited any longer they might find out and feel betrayed.
As soon as the words began to come out of my mouth, tears started flowing down my face.
"Kids, I have something difficult to tell you, something that I don't know how to tell you. We're going to be moving."
I had full expected Bella to be upset at the news but I still was not prepared for the depth of her grief. Her sobs came hard and fast as she crumpled onto the couch in a heaving heap. I opened my arms and she leaped into them. We rocked back and forth, both of us crying freely. Jack wormed his way onto my lap too, and we sat swaying and wailing loudly for a bit, nothing like the controlled soothing speech I had imagined delivering. It seemed enough to just let the raw emotion flow for a bit.
Once I was able to pull myself together, I began my Ohio sales pitch, selling myself in the process. Just imagine, I said, we'll be so close to Daddy's job that we'll see him at breakfast and when he comes home at night, we'll be able to still play in the yard with him! And we can find a big house that you'll help me pick, you can even choose your room! We won't be so worried about money anymore and we'll be able to eat out in restaurants whenever you want!
With each new point, Bella's tears would slow for an instant but she would soon start wailing again about not wanting to leave her friends and not wanting to move. "I don't want to move! It's going to be so hard! I'm so angry with you right now! Why do we have to do this! You're the worst mom in the world!" I just rubbed her back and said over and over again, "I know. I know. I understand. I'm sad too to leave my friends."
The sales pitch started to work its magic on Jack though. He looked up at me and asked, "But why do we have to move to another country?" Once I explained that Ohio was actually part of the same country as New Jersey, his tears dried up and he was content just snuggling up next to me, ready for our adventure.
Bella seemed inconsolable. Her cries just kept increasing in intensity, and my tears were dripping in her hair, an even mixture of guilt and my own grief over leaving. Finally, when I had run out of energy and silver linings, she made her demand. "In Ohio, could we get a dog? Just like Sasha and Malia? They got a dog when they moved to Washington. Please???"
Desperate to see a smile on her face, I nodded and said we would talk to Daddy. Although she still had bouts of crying for the rest of the day, it was balanced with some optimism and excitement. We turned a corner in what is sure to be a long few months until we get to our new home this summer.
But really, Obama, did you have to make your puppy quest so public?
