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| Reuters Photo |
I planted my swollen feet slightly apart on the sparkling sidewalk, cupped my hands around my protruding belly, and turned my face up to the sky, feeling the heat of the sun for the first time in weeks. I closed my eyes, ignoring the passesrby forced to jostle around me. As fervently as a little child, I crossed my fingers and made a wish, for freedom from bedrest, a few more weeks to roam the city before the responsibility of parenthood came crashing down.
An hour later, my OB did grant me that reprieve, deeming my fluid levels to be safe enough for moderate activity, but when I emerged smiling into the waiting room, the receptionists were crying. They spoke of impossible horrors on this happy fall day: planes crashing into buildings, missing sons, daughters, and spouses, and they sobbed into their hands.
We left without paying, without scheduling a follow up appointment. There was no point.
I took Steve's hand in mine, the feel of his fingers the only reality on this nightmare day. Together we walked back out into the blinding sunshine, wondering how we could possibly bring a child into this changed world.
This isn't a day to debate mosques, a day to spread anger and fear. This is a day to remember. We're in New York City for the weekend for my mother in law's birthday, remembering the day we lost our innocence nine years ago.
Where were you on 9/11? How did you hear the news?
4 comments:
I appreciate this post a great deal because one of my main feelings is how strange it is that neither of my children existed on that day. I watched the towers go down on a television in an office that I hated in a job that made me miserable staring at the screen in shocked disbelief. At home alone that evening I cried and I cried watching replay after replay of these ghosts covered in ash running down the street. I learned something about the fragility of life that day. And I learned that I needed to live. I think your post expressed something that I was having trouble putting into words and I thank you. I am trying to think today about all of the people who lost so much on September 11, and to be so thankful for the life that I have gained since then.
Oh Vanessa---so artfully written. So evocative of how what seemed so very important in our individual lives that day suddenly became so obscured by the magnitude of what experienced collectively that day.
Just this past year have I even begun to touch upon what happened September 11, 2001 with our now nine-year-old twins----who were 6 days old that fateful day.
Thank you for this, Vanessa. Like you, and so many others, I will never forget.
Without planning beforehand, it has turned out that my daughter and I have spent most of the day together and we both remember so vividly the circumstances of that horrible day.
She was in high school and called on her way. 'Mom, turn on the TV, the news is talking about a plane hitting one of the Twin Towers in NYC' so I did just that and for a short amount of time there was a notion that a terrible accident had happened. But I witnessed the 2nd plane on TV that day and knew immediately this was no random act but something far more sinister.
I don't remember if school was canceled or if she just chose to come home but either way, I was glad to have her close; to know she was safe because none of us felt safe that day. And I'm not certain we ever will in quite the same way.
God Bless America!
I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.
God Bless You ~Ron
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