I needed time to spy on kids with spaghetti-sauce covered faces at nearby tables in crowded restaurants, to make chocolate chip cookies with my niece, to smile at shy little girls hiding behind their mothers' knees in elevators. And mostly, I needed time to draw conclusions, to come up with a parenting strategy, to make lists of things I would never do as a parent.
The list went on and on. I wish I had written it down. But from the dregs of my memory banks, I can still easily recall the top ten things I swore I would never do as a parent. Hell could freeze over, pigs could fly, but I would never be caught dead doing those things.
- I would never drive a minivan.
- I would never let my children pollute their body with McDonald's.
- I would never let my child answer the phone, leaving the person on the other end of the line in the awkward position of making conversation with a toddler.
- I would never make an adult change seats because of my child's tantrum.
- My children would never have tantrums.
- My children would always be well-dressed, their clothes would be free of Disney characters, and polyester-free.
- My children would not be spoiled and would not have too many toys.
- I would not bore others with talk of my child's bodily functions.
- I would not address my husband as "Daddy" to his face, especially not in a passive aggressive tone. eg: "Well, if Daddy would only help Mommy clean up every once in a while, we could all have more time to play."
I have let my kids wear pajamas to the supermarket, have fed them mac and cheese for breakfast and cereal for dinner. And I have discovered that if my children whine long enough in a certain pitch, I will get in the car and drive them to McDonald's, even in the pouring rain, just to let the Happy Meals work their magic. But mostly, I have learned to not pass judgment and to never say never.
Today's Sunday Scribblings prompt is.... When Pigs Fly.
What did you think you would never do?
8 comments:
I swore I would never smile knowingly at a childless person who was sharing their ideas about child rearing and patronizingly shake my head.
After children I found myself saying to a childless friend, "Do you really think that ALL parents are just conspiring to prove how hard this is?! You just wait!"
I guess we're now walking a mile (or two) in those shoes.
Oh, the list is long. The top one was that I'd never answer a question with "because I said so!" I think that's every other sentence now!
I still remember the days when eating out meant figuring out who had the best toy, McDonalds or Burger King. My two are both in college now and the list of nevers just goes on and on. Now I will count it all a success as long as I don't end up on the Jerry Springer show or something like it...
I loved this piece.
I remember being childless and judging all the other young parents and tisk tisking them saying I won't let my child do this or that. and then I became one too. It's not as easy as it looks - parenting. Sometimes, it's just not worth the battle.
One day, before I had my daughter, I saw a little girl at a store wearing a complete cowgirl costume obviously meant for Halloween. I looked at my mother and told her there was no way I'd ever let my kids out of the house dressed like that.
I ate my words when my daughter, as a toddler, would wear Barney, Baby Bop and BJ Halloween costumes everywhere she went. They were a wardrobe staple and kept her happy.
Sometimes you've got to pick and choose your battles.
Oh I definitely had a list. It involved no kids in my bed, healthy food, and no noise toys.
Oh well... ;-)
I always so my favorite parenting advice comes from those who don't have children yet. I would love to record them and play them back to them 5 years after they have children to see how many of those views change ;)
FANTASTIC post! My son was not going to have sugar until his 1st b-day (he had ice cream at 6 months), no silly character clothes (he's wearing a Snoopy sweatshirt as I type this), no TV until he was 2 (he is in love with Elmo and on Halloween watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show with me), etc., etc., etc.
What can ya do?
Post a Comment