First there was Marley and Me. Cute little posters with an adorable puppy with a bright red bow. My kids were begging me to let them see it. Thankfully, I'd gotten a heads up that the dog dies and kept clear. When it came out on video, I rented it and loved it... as a really great adult movie about becoming a parent, growing into your career, and midlife choices.
And now there is the ABC Family movie, the Dog Who Saved Christmas. Another yellow lab all dressed up for the holidays. Another movie marketed to kids filled with inappropriate content.
For starters, the opening scene shows the parents feverishly rushing to hide all the Christmas presents they've just bought from their kids. My kids started saying, "Wow! That is a lot of presents!" And before I had fully settled on the couch, I was already playing cover up by saying, "Yeah! Those parents must just be giving their kids a ton of presents on top of Santa's!" Not a good way to get started.
Then there was the dog. Cute enough, but he just stood there stonily, not even remotely connected to the words supposedly coming out of his mouth. Having fully enjoyed Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I now realize that we did not appreciate the animal casting enough.
And finally there were the burglars, somehow a lot scarier than the Home Alone duo they were modeled after. Maybe it was all the talk about jail. Maybe it was when one threatened that he would make the dog suffer great pain as he waved around a golf club. It was so scary that even a very funny fart scene didn't reassure the kids.
So Hollywood, please, give us a break. Please start making family flicks that are truly for the whole family, not hardened fifth graders. Otherwise I'll never have another night free of blood curling nightmare screams.
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