The Dreaded Circle of Trust

"Close your eyes," says Lisa. She is smiling. Her face is flushed with the excitement of sharing this experience with us. I look at the eight women surrounding me, standing shoulder to shoulder in a tight circle around me. I know these women well; I've been listening to them read their most intimate stories for the last year. We're a small group and the circle is small. I can feel their breath on my face. Their palms are out, ready to catch me. All of their eyes are upon me, looking at me reassuringly, wordlessly telling me that I can trust them.

"Close your eyes and let yourself fall," repeats lisa.

I blink. A feeble attempt at closing my eyes. Just the thought of standing with my eyes closed is terrifying. Letting my body fall into their outstretched hands is unthinkable.

I hate these trust exercises. I hated them in summer camp as a teenager, I hated them during corporate team building events, and I hate them now as a mother in my thirties.

Finally, unable to bear the tension any longer, I just do it. I let my body fall back. Their soft hands push me back up. And I fall forward into another set of hands that pushes me upright again.

I open my eyes, breaking the spell and step gratefully back into the circle. I don't feel more relaxed or enlightened by the exercise. All I feel is relief that it's over. Until the next time.

The Sunday Scribbings prompt this week is ... you guessed it ... trust. Head on over to see what others did with the prompt.