The pool toys are on clearance now, and the store shelves are filling up with colorful notebooks, shiny pens, and character backpacks. Although August just began, Back to School is just around the corner. I'm gearing up for a new school year by adopting a new policy: anything that takes me out of the house and away from my family has to be worth it.
I am cutting back the obligations, the things that fill my day, sucking away my time, all the times that I wonder "Why do I have to do this?" My time is precious, both my free time during the day and my evenings when my husband is home. When I'm not home to tuck my kids in at night because I'm at a committee meeting for a fundraiser, they don't sleep well at night. They don't care that I'm helping to raise money for new playground equipment at school, they just want to know why I couldn't sing them the goodnight song. When I volunteer to run family fun events, I end up being too busy running the event to enjoy the event with them.
Next year, I'm going to learn to say no. No thank you. I'm too busy but thanks for thinking of me. I'm going to stop asking "Do I have to?" and start asking myself, "do I want to" before saying yes to anything.
And when I do leave the house, it's going to be for my own quality time. I'll leave to play tennis, have dinner with friends, write, play tennis, or go running, and when I return, I'll be a better mom - rejuvinated, happier, more energized.
My Back to School resolution is no more "Do I have to."
The Sunday Scribblings Post tonight is: Do I Have To?
10 comments:
Great post!! I totally agree with you. I learned to say NO a few years ago. Now I only do it if I want to.
I love the way you write! :)
What a wonderful idea. I'm trying to do more of the same, or rather, not start as much since we're not school aged yet.
This is something I had to learn this past year. My daughter was in kindergarten, it was our first year doing anything like this and I volunteered for EVERYTHING!!
So in March when our elections rolled around I volunteered for one last thing....PAC (PTA) President. Now I only HAVE to commit to one meeting a month. Anything else that I might volunteer for is because I WANT to...not because I feel this obligation.
My kids see more of me, and I'm still involved in the school because I can do my "duties" during the day when they're busy anyway.
A very important word that's hard for many to say... It actually feels good, once you get it down, and helps you do only the things that are most important and beneficial to you. It also frees you to give without resentment.
Oh yes, it can get out of control! Remember what is important, you, a happy mom is a happy household! Great post!
As a teacher, I understand this!
Liberate yourself
thanks so much for your comment on my blog --- you're off to a good start learning to prefer and choose - it took me more years than i liked to get to where i am - those "old tapes" try to play lots of times and push the old guilt button, but happily i'm acquiring skill at squelching them - and i know i'm ever so much better for it --- a happy mom makes a real real good mom - keep up the good work!!!
Good idea! Nice post, for sure...
fantastic! I totally need to do this as well. It is pretty much my attitude, now I need to ACT on it! Thanks for the inspiration!
Oh, you are so on target with this one. After having, among other things, co-chaired the 40th Anniversary Dinner Dance for my kids' school last year, I've told everyone I'm taking a sabbatical year. We'll see how that pans out. (I may give in and be a room parent for my son--which I've never done for him before, although I've done it multiple times for my daughter. Guilt sucks.) In any event, I hope I will no longer be chanting "I'm just a girl who can't say no. .."
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