When I peed on that EPT stick and saw two distinct miraculous blue lines, I was thrilled that I would finally be becoming a mother. What I didn't realize was that I would also be becoming a superhero.
My first act of superhuman strength took place nine months later when I squeezed out a living, breathing six pound baby out of my body. I had a seen a few flashes of superhuman traits during the nine months of a pregnancy full of crippling leg cramps, gigantic hemorrhoids, and an inferno of acid reflux, but that was nothing compared to childbirth. I was comforted by the knowledge that I was in good company, knowing that others gave birth to much larger babies without the help of pain medication.
My triumphant labor was just the beginning of my new abilities. I soon developed an uncanny skill to decode my baby's cries for food, pain and wet diapers. I also seemed to exude some sort of calming beams that magically soothed the worst teething pain with just a tender touch.
As my children have aged, my powers have strengthened and multiplied. I now have better-than x-ray vision that lets me detect lies instantly and spot bad behavior from two floors away. My hearing is so sensitive that I can identify my child's cry out of a crowd of thirty yelling kids at a birthday party, and I wake out of a deep sleep to my baby's whimpers. Luckily, it turns out that superheroes can subsist on very little hours of sleep.
7 comments:
Well, exactly! I remember stumbling down the steps to the basement with my three-month-old son, his diaper bag, a plate of food for the potluck we were attending ... there was something else, but I don't remember what.
I never felt more harried -- or endowed with super powers.
I've surpassed that since, of course, but at the time, it was a victory.
lol!! I think I'm still developing some of those super powers! ;) Great post!
LOL That was great!! You're so creative! :)
that graphic just slays me --- it's great! - amazing all the skill sets we have that pop out magically at all the right times as the experience of mothering rolls along on its track --- really enjoyed your post!!!
What a delightful way to describe the daunting tasks of a new mother detined to be Supermom! My children were small back in the days when baby bottles were still made of glass. One small would not go to sleep without his bottle (filled with water) but as he fell asleep he often flung it to the floor, shattering the glass. Later in the night, summoned from my own sleep by some small sound of distress, I would pad barefoot to his side. My feet developed the supermom quality of lifting any foot portion that came in contact with a sharp piece of glass.
This post was clever and fun to read!
So well said! Think you can send some of that teething magic my way? I haven't found it yet....and I'm tired!
Great post! Witty and insightful. I have not yet morphed into a superhero via motherhood, but I have seen many dear ones close to me do so!
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