Unlocking the Power Within by Losing

When we headed out to our swim meet on Thursday evening, the sky was dark and threatening. I had a feeling it might be a difficult evening, but I didn't expect that we were about to have an epic night of great defeat. No matter how many sweatshirts you pack, there's some life lessons you can't protect your children from.

This is our first summer as a swim team family, with the exception of a short stint in Ohio last year. My kids are confident swimmers, happy frolicking in the deep end, but not very familiar with the different strokes. They have learned so much in a few weeks of daily swim practices, and propel themselves across the pool faster every day. They are loving the camaraderie around the pool and the games played during the long swim meets. Receiving ribbons for third and fourth place in their second swim meet was a huge thrill, and we expected the fun to continue on Thursday night.

As soon as we walked into the other team's pool club, we sensed the tension and confusion in the crowd. Kids were huddled together, shivering in the 65 degree temperature. Trains were whipping by every few minutes, and the announcements of upcoming races were muffled. Coaches were running around, calling out kids' names frantically, and chaos reigned. It was all too much for Jack and Bella; they came in last for each of their races, shivering under their damp clothes late into the night.

I felt powerless to ease their disappointment. I rubbed their shoulders to generate a little heat, complimenting them on their smooth strokes and their progress in just a weeks. But at the end of the night, when we finally piled into our warm mini-van, the tears didn't flow as I expected. Instead the kids talked about what a lousy night we'd just had and how the next one would be better. Somehow, they had learned to say, "I'll get you next time."

So many sports nowadays reward kids just for showing up, but swimming lets kids experience the bitterness of defeat. It can be a tough lesson, but with the right reinforcement, can also teach perseverance and the value of hard work. My kids are learning the power that lies in their bodies, the strength they have to push themselves across the pool. There will be other swim meets, warm nights playing with friends on the thick summer grass. There will be more ribbons, more victories to erase the memories of our dismal Thursday night. Race by race, lane by lane, they are unlocking the power they carry within.